Illness, Overwhelmed, Time To Parent Self

Six weeks post op and it seems like my life has been a whirlwind of drama since September. Many things were happening in my life much to quickly and I found that I was reacting to them in a negative way instead of positively acting on them. I lost two jobs in 2011 because of illness and losing my second job just after being married in September was a major blow to my ego not to mention my financial status. Then during my work up for back pain I get diagnosed with PVNS. Wow I had no idea how much added stress and complexity of events that was going to add to my life. Now that I’ve had surgery, well into physical therapy and beginning to follow up with radiation I can finally refocus on what brought me to the doctor in the first place. 

Needless to say I became overwhelmed and paralyzed with fear and unable to adequately deal with anything. So I took some much needed time out to parent myself, reorganize my thought process and re-energize physically. Why do we recognize when our children need to take time out but we as adults ignore the same need within ourselves? 

I learned along time ago that at some point in everyones development they must learn to self parent. But what does that really mean? Well a parent loves unconditionally, provides encouragement, comforts, sets limits in all areas of life not to restrain but to protect a childs health and mental well being. A parent urges a child to explore and see things from different angles, to troubleshoot, take chances and solve problems. A good parent knows not to compare your child with another because each child is unique and has very specific talents which helps to build their self esteem. A parent praises their child and avoids criticism but is consistent with rules and assertive in identifying the behavior that needs to change. Listens to the childs concerns, maintains a safe environment, provides order by setting boundaries, recognize with rewards and identifies consequences, enforces healthy eating habits and activity levels, emphasizes moderation and responsibility, but most importantly gives time to the child. As adults we need to make time for ourselves. This is not a luxury but an absolute need in order to maintain a healthy active life. So yes, I've had my time out in the corner, cleared my mind of all concerns so that I can look at everything from a fresh perspective.